Gideon had been living in Berlin, as you do. He glosses over the foundational activities of their then-new friendship. Tom, by his own far more direct account, had, by 2008, a "sacramental devotion to marijuana," and while in Estonia had embraced a likely less ritualized love for cocaine. Gideon seems like the type to indulge in what everyone else is indulging in, part of his own specific problem with ... it's less clear? He had a fear that he would accidentally live a staid or incorrect life and come to regret it, so he was following will-o?-the-wisps around Berlin to raves and to openings to make sure that he didn't. He was burdened with the story of his father, a rabbi, who, late in Gideon's teens, left his mother for a man and immediately bought a lot of very gay clothes. Gideon?s questions, quite reasonably, include: Is my very existence the result of a deeply regretted life?