It doesn?t matter whether you and your spouse have had the most romantic wedding and honeymoon; there will come a time when day-to-day reality and struggles catches up with both of you. This is when you and your partner start to fight. Although minor disagreements and arguments are unavoidable and even healthy at times, major and recurring unresolved marriage issues usually develop into reasons for divorce.
For this reason, if you find that you and your spouse keep having such severe arguments, you need to stop and evaluate your marriage issues. Here are some of the most common problems that married couples face, and tips on how to go about them.
Fighting Over Money
Money problems are among the most common source of argument between many couples. Even before the wedding vows are said, these problems might have already surfaced. If your fights are mostly about your expenses and finances, the best way to resolve it is to have a serious conversation about it. Here are some of the strategies you can apply to resolve this conflict:
- You and your partner must be honest about your current financial situation. If things are not going so well, it is unwise to continue living the same lifestyle as before.
- Avoid confronting the issue during a fight. Instead, you must set aside some time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
- Recognize that one partner is a saver while the other is a spender. Understanding this distinction is very beneficial since it helps both parties understand and learn from each other?s tendencies.
- Do not keep income and debt a secret. Gather all financial documents and present them to the table.
- Avoid blaming each other, and construct a realistic budget that includes both your savings.
Who?s Doing The Household Chores?
Since both of you are living in the same house, it is important to divide the labor at home. One of the most common reasons why fights arise in marriage is due to unequal distribution of labor. If one partner feels that they are exerting more effort around the house, it brings up feelings that the other partner does not give the other enough respect to help out in the house. To help address this issue, you need to consider the following tips:
- Stay organized and perform all your household duties. For instance, you can write down the household chores and agree on who will perform certain tasks. When doing this, both of you must be reasonable and make sure that the tasks are distributed fairly.
- Consider other solutions. For instance, if you and your spouse do not have the time to clean the house, you can consider employing a cleaning service. If the other partner enjoys doing the laundry, the other can wash the dishes or clean the yard. It doesn?t matter who does what, as long as the couple works together towards a common goal.
Trust Is The Core Of Every Relationship
Trust is essential in every relationship, whether it?s between married couples, family, siblings, or friends. For this reason, if one partner observes certain behaviors that make them doubtful; it can lead to conflicts in the marriage. Trust issues also arise when there are certain unresolved issues that might hinder the couple from trusting each other. You and your spouse can develop each other?s trust by following these easy tips:
- Be consistent. This includes doing what you say you will do.
- Don?t lie. Couples must understand that even little, innocent white lies can lead to trust issues.
- Be sensitive to your partner?s feelings. You and your spouse might disagree on certain issues, but avoid discounting how your spouse feels.
- Carry your share of household chores and workload. By doing so, you will not only gain your partner?s trust, but you will also address your household problems.
- Don?t dig up past conflicts.
- Be a good listener.
- Respect each other?s boundaries.
Conflicts in marriage can be a good thing; however, if the issues and problems keep on recurring, it might be a sign that something is wrong with the marriage. Thankfully, there are things you can do to help minimize your marriage problems. One of the best methods to avoid minor problems from escalating is to directly say or ask what you need while still being sensitive towards your partner?s feelings.
Additionally, you can learn when to let things go and enjoy each other?s company more. You and your partner must not immediately assume that it will be better with someone else. The reality is that the same problems you have in your current marriage will still arise if you don?t know how to handle it.
This is a guest post.? Kris Lim is a blogger for love and relationship columns and websites. She offers tips and advice to help couples resolve their issues and problems. She also regularly contributes to mental health experts and licensed?therapist Orange County.